The Plane Truth
by Loridhhp
Summary: AU oneshot. Takes place during "The Prodigal Daughter Returns". Emily tries to buy a plane. Lorelai finds her. Mother and daughter talk, opening old wounds and beginning to heal them. Sometimes you have to go a little nuts to find yourself. Please review.


**Here's a little oneshot that I felt inspired to write. I was having a stressful day and needed an outlet. Things are really hairy in my life at the moment, but I promise I won't forget about "A Mother's Love." I'm just having a hard time focusing right now. I will update when things aren't so hectic. I hope you enjoy this. Please leave a review and let me know how you liked it. I need all the encouragement I can get right now. This story takes place during "The Prodigal Daughter Returns" and is my take on what could have happened during the scene where Emily tries to buy a plane. Some dialog is taken from the episode but not too much. The rest is all me. **

**Disclaimer: Gilmore Girls is owned by Amy Sherman-Palladino. I own nothing. This story is for entertainment purposes only.**

**The Plane Truth**

Emily Gilmore was a woman on a mission. She strode across the tarmac toward the small private jet to investigate the plane she was considering purchasing as a timeshare. Her squared shoulders, determined gait and set jaw all belied her true feelings. One would have to look into her eyes, dull from years of emotional pain, and her furrowed brow to know the truth. Emily took great pains to cover her innermost self so all unsuspecting passersby could see was a woman, in dark sunglasses with a regal bearing, striding purposefully toward her destination.

Emily entered the cabin of the small plane and sighed, glad to be away from prying eyes. She wanted to be alone with her thoughts. She was devastated when Rory moved out of the home she and Richard had provided for her. Rory was her chance to make things right, her chance to help her granddaughter the way her own daughter wouldn't allow. When Rory stole a boat with Logan, and as a result decided to leave school, she honestly thought she and Richard would be able to get her on track. They took her into their home, against Lorelai's own plan for Rory's return to Yale and her life. And now it had all backfired.

It was eerily quiet for an airport, Emily noted with relief. Inside the plane she could be alone in her misery and failure. She sat for a few minutes, listening to the distant sounds of aircraft taking off on the runway nearby. It was still far less noisy than she had expected. She removed her sunglasses, placed them carefully in their case and slipped them into her purse. She rubbed her temple in an attempt to ward off the impending headache that was just beginning to make its presence known.

When she entered Rory's bedroom early that morning to discover no sign of Rory's presence from the night before, she assumed the worst, that Rory too had fled her home, just as Lorelai had done years ago. Richard wasn't home from his business trip yet and Emily knew she had to get away from that house, that house that gave her so much pain and loss. She decided to go shopping. That's how she dealt with her anger and turmoil: she bought things, hoping those newly acquired objects would take away the sting of her latest failure. It rarely worked.

So here she was, trying to buy a plane of all things, or timeshare it actually with two other people. Deep down inside she knew it was a ridiculous frivolity, one that she knew Richard would adamantly disapprove of. She just wanted something to take her mind off her troubles and this would certainly do it. Emily distracted herself by inspecting the cabin and even checking out the cockpit. It was here that she heard her daughter call out to her.

Lorelai had come looking for her. Emily never expected that. As Lorelai questioned the feasibility of actually buying a plane, Emily continued her busywork. She tried to enlist Lorelai in assisting her with measuring the cabin, while she noted that the fabric covering the seats and interior would definitely need to be changed. Lorelai was persistent and Emily soon found herself arguing about the very thing she sought to escape.

Emily fought to keep her composure but snapped under the stress. "It's my fault that Rory dropped out of Yale," she snapped. "It's my fault that she didn't go back. It's my fault that she's with Logan. It's my fault that she's not happy! It's my fault! It's all my fault!"

"It's not your fault," Lorelai said gently. Her own mother was having a melt down and it made her uncomfortable.

"That's right, it's not my fault," Emily said adamantly. "I did nothing but take care of her! I bought her clothes! I got her a job! I guided her! I threw parties for her and introduced her to new people, new things, and she just…" Emily paused a moment before adding brokenly, "The way she talked to me… you would have been very proud."

"No," Lorelai said, noticing the tears in her mother's eyes.

"Oh yes," Emily replied, fighting to keep her emotions in check. "She looked at me just like you used to, with that 'who are you to be telling me what to do' sort of look. Then she left. Packed her things and moved out when I wasn't even there to see her go. No thank you, no goodbye. You would have been very, very proud."

"Mom," Lorelai said softly. She didn't know what to say to her.

Emily's face crumpled in despair, the tears she tried in vain to suppress beginning to spill over. "Just let me buy my plane, Lorelai. Let me be frivolous and shallow, won't you please?"

"Okay," Lorelai muttered, starting to leave. She turned at the door of the plane. "It's not the same Mom. What happened with Rory. It's not the same."

Emily turned her face away. "I lost her like I lost you. Feels remarkably similar to me."

"You didn't lose her like you lost me," Lorelai stated. "She was never supposed to be there in the first place. She was always supposed to be at school. She just went back where she belonged." Lorelai sighed and turned to the door. "And you didn't lose me," she said gently and then left the plane.

Emily sat down, relieved that her daughter had left. Her chest hurt from all the pain she fought so hard to contain. She began to sob in earnest now, unable to hold back the deluge of emotion. She wept openly now that she was alone again, with no one to see her shame. She failed again. She thought helping Rory out would bring them closer but all it did was alienate them. Rory had now turned against her the way Lorelai did so many years ago.

Emily recalled that dark period in her life when her only daughter left home at the age of seventeen with her baby. She wept bitterly at the memory of Lorelai's letter. Her daughter wanted nothing to do with her or her father. She hated the life they provided for her so vehemently that she would rather live in squalor with her baby than in luxury with her own family. Emily could not understand this. She wrapped her arms around herself in a desperate attempt to keep from falling apart as she wept uncontrollably.

Now she was reliving that pain all over again. When Lorelai left home, Emily fell into a state of grief and depression so deep, she wondered if she'd ever feel normal again. For the first month that Lorelai was gone, Emily couldn't even get out of bed. She'd lost her daughter and her granddaughter, and her anger and hurt nearly consumed her.

Unbeknown to Emily, Lorelai had stopped just outside the plane. She stood on the bottom step listening to her mother sobbing. It was something that she wasn't accustomed to: Emily hated displays of weakness, and crying was definitely a sign of weakness in the Gilmore house. She couldn't recall a time she'd ever seen her mother break down so completely. She began to feel guilty for leaving her mother when she was obviously in so much pain. Of course guilt was an emotion that was very familiar in the Gilmore house.

Lorelai found herself getting emotional at the sounds of her mother's sobs. Maybe Emily had a heart after all. She just didn't know how to show it. So many times Lorelai had wanted to talk to her mother, to tell her how she felt, but she was afraid that she wouldn't listen and would cut her down. She found herself becoming increasingly upset at her mother's plight and even felt empathy for her. Her own separation from Rory was extremely painful. They hadn't spoken for over five months and Lorelai had spent more than a few nights crying herself to sleep.

Lorelai turned and headed back up the steps. She quietly entered the plane and stood in the aisle watching her mother. Emily was sitting with her back toward her daughter. She had her face in her hands as her shoulders shook with her wracking sobs. Lorelai could feel a lump forming in her throat, her eyes welling with tears, as she debated going over to comfort her mother. She wanted to tell her mother that everything was going to be fine, to just give Rory some time and she'll come around, but she was afraid her mother would reject her.

Taking a deep breath, Lorelai walked over and sat next to her mother. She gingerly placed a hand on her shoulder. "Mom, are you okay," she inquired gently.

Emily only shook her head and continued weeping.

"Rory will come around," Lorelai said tentatively. "Just give her some time. She loves you and Dad. Unlike me, she won't stay mad forever," she added, trying to make light of the awkward situation.

"That's right, Lorelai," Emily snapped, wiping her tear streaked face. "Add some more salt to my wounds! Just go away and leave me be." Emily's tears began again.

"Mom, I'm sorry. I just…" Lorelai began.

"I don't need your pity, Lorelai," Emily sobbed. "I just want to be left alone while I still have a shred of dignity left."

Lorelai dejectedly started to get up to leave, but decided to make one final move toward consoling her mother. It was a risk she felt she needed to take, for herself as well as her mother.

"I'm sorry Mom for hurting you and Dad," Lorelai said, the lump in her throat getting bigger by the second. "I know you don't understand why I left home with Rory when she was a baby and all I could think about was my own feelings. It was selfish, I know. When Rory dropped out of Yale and moved in with you and Dad, I was angry and jealous. I felt betrayed. Rory turned to you and not me."

"And that was so horrible," Emily inquired giving Lorelai a look of long repressed pain.

"I don't think I fully understood what you went through with me until this separation with Rory," Lorelai said, her voice breaking with emotion. "Not having her around to talk to, to share things with, broke my heart. I miss her so much. I never thought anything could hurt as much as this fight. I just wanted her to come home on her own, to undo the mess she got herself in. I had to let her go and it hurt like hell." The tears flowed freely down Lorelai's cheeks as she poured her heart out to her mother.

"You've been separated from Rory for five months," Emily retorted. "Try being separated for fifteen years and then tell me how it feels!"

"I don't want to fight Mom," Lorelai sobbed. "Please! I'm sorry for hurting you. I'm sorry for staying away for so long but we didn't get along. I just wanted my own life, not yours. I wanted to be happy. I figured that if you didn't love me, I would find that love in Rory and a new home. That's all I ever wanted from you. I just wanted to know that you loved me and that I wasn't a disgrace to you."

It was Lorelai's turn to break down and sob uncontrollably, her face in her hands. She felt embarrassed at allowing herself to be so vulnerable in her mother's presence. She certainly didn't think Emily would even hear what she'd just said. That was how it was: she poured her heart out to her mother and Emily waved it off or changed the subject. Anger was a prevalent part of the Gilmore make up, as was guilt and shame, but the deeper emotions were pushed aside or stuffed down deep to fester. Hurt and remorse were not acceptable emotions to express in public, at least not in the Gilmore house. It was a main reason for Lorelai's exodus so long ago.

Emily reflected on her daughter's words. How could she think that she didn't love her? She did everything for her daughter, provided the best life had to offer. She tried to provide for Rory the same way and both women rejected it. Why had Lorelai come back just now? Was it because she had shown weakness and Lorelai felt pity for her mother? Or did her daughter actually care about her after all? Had her tears, the abhorrent vestiges of weakness, actually brought out compassion in her daughter? Maybe that was what Lorelai was looking for all along, for her mother to open up to her and really connect.

"I'm sorry I was such a disappointment to you," Lorelai sobbed. "I'm sorry I hurt you."

She reached out to embrace her mother and Emily flinched. Lorelai ignored the reaction and wrapped her arms around her mother. She rested her chin on her mother's shoulder and wept. Emily slowly brought her hands up to wrap around her daughter. She held her tightly, feeling her warmth and her tears. It was then that Emily Gilmore understood what her daughter needed, what she herself needed, more than anything, forgiveness and an open heart. Emily wept along with Lorelai, as they held onto each other.

"I'm sorry too, Lorelai, for not being the mother you needed," Emily choked out. "I couldn't see that money couldn't buy your love. I'm sorry I didn't show it enough. I do love you Lorelai. I always have."

"Oh Mom," Lorelai wept, "I love you too."

"Thank you for coming back to check up on me," Emily said softly. "I'm sorry I turned you away." The two women sat back and wiped their tear streaked faces.

"You're not really buying a plane are you," Lorelai inquired.

"I suppose not," Emily replied with a small smile. "Your father would have a fit."

**I hope you liked this little bit of angst with a happy ending. Please review and let me know. It would make me really happy! :)**


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